Dec 22, 2008

Teenage Mutant Ninja Poodle - Poodle Power!

I feel a bit guilty about my last post. Penis humor of any kind is pretty base. Still the chart says "orientals" that alone is worth posting. In fact if you have any other scientific charts that say Orientals, please send them hither for immediate postitude and a free chewy granola bar.

Moving on to higher minded content, I present you with this ri-dog-ulous nonsense.
A poodle groomed and dyed to look like Donatello, of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

Look at that bitch (rim shot) isn't she chuffed. There are more white trash retarded poodle haircuts here at Joshua Bearman's blog, where I stole this shit from.

Black people win (duh)

A very scientific chart for avg weiner by race. Apparently there are only 3 races. I bet the Indians and the chinese are fighting over this right now. I just hope the Arabs don't get thrown in with us white folk. I don't like Arabs or their stupid dicks.

More dick size facts at this very reputable site

Dec 18, 2008

XKCD guide to understanding flow charts presented in flow chart form

Funny flow charts are def the haps. It's nothing new, that bacon flow chart has been around a while, and my attempt at a funny flow chart came out all right. XKCD has one today. He's the smartest funny guy ever invented. I don't get half his comics because I am not a former NASA physicist (which he actually is for real) but the ones I get are awesome and astoundingly clever. Check it.

Dec 17, 2008

Wrong Tina Turner! We do need another hero...

...and I've got 2 of them right here. Precious Taft and Michelle Sutlovich on Stairway to Stardom in 1982 and '83 on NYC public access.

Unfortunately I was not watching public access until '86, when my neighbor John showed me Robyn Bird on the J channel. Had I been old enough to appreciate more than Robyn's and her naked friends singing "Baby Let Me Bang You Box"; I would be a better 30 yr old man-child than I am today.

Dec 16, 2008

Fleetwood Mac - Stevie is hotter than that 6.5 posted on SC&TVB

Stevie Nicks came up today on Street Carnage, and I had alot to say about her. Gavin compared some avg hipsterish broad to my favorite 70s wiccan priestess fox.

FM have't been on this blag yet cuz it's still new , and cuz Woody has found every cool clip and reference to them ever. Since half the people who read this crap are friends of ours, I dint wanna grab his shit. I only plagiarize the Associated Press.

I had a hard time deciding which clip would better prove my point, so I posted both. They are both live versions of Rhiannon. She goes for broke on the last verse, check out the end parts.

UPDATE: As of 11:25pm I've decided: Video 1 is better quality and Stevie's hair is hotter. Video 2 is a different arrangement of the song and Stevie is more bad ass at the end.

Below is the same song, different show. I wish there was a good clip of The Chain.

Dec 12, 2008

Mommy I want to cum out!

Your baby is like a giant cock dildo. Literally. You can fuck yourself, with your baby.

Step 1 get knocked up
Step 2 watch this movie
Step 3 fuck your vagina using your slimy unborn child as a dildo

Don't worry, it's endorsed by new age people.

Who's hungry for babies?

Dec 11, 2008

Dec 10, 2008

Ursus Arctos playing Ice Hockey

Bears fuck shit up. I love how tiny their feet look in the skates.

Yes this is real.


Dec 9, 2008

Closeted gai Mayor reviews film about 1st openly gey "Mayor"

Not that anyone cares but Ed Koch has a review of Milk in the Villager newspaper (does anyone besides me read it?). Anyway I find it amusing that our favorite "secretly" gei Mayor and all around mensch Ed Koch, is reviewing the movie about San Fransico's 1st Gey "mayor".

Actually Milk was never mayor, nor did he run. But he was a city councilman and mayor for 1 day while the real mayor was on vacation. However he was called the Mayor of the Castro. Apparently that is the neighborhood where all the fagelas hang out. He might have been mayor but some dick head went and shot him. All the info in this paragraph courtesy of Wikipedia.

If you care to read Koch's review click HERE


Dec 8, 2008

the best naugthy girls underwear ever invented evar

ugh. I just died.

They have a store in soho. You should go into it, it's awesome I get a boner just walking by. Clicky for link to their site. Gold plated handcuff and dildo set? Yes mistress.

EDIT: On the bottom picture, notice how u can see that strap on her inner ass cheek behind the pussy region. That is a killer angle. I love bums.

Dec 5, 2008

Amazon Reviews for: Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 Gallon, 128 fl oz

So this is a classic internet meme that somehow alot of people still don't know about. sells milk online, which is r3tarded. Way back yonder in 2005 someone reviewed the milk and as of today 1,006 more people have submitted their reviews to hilarious effect.

Here's one of my fav reviews, click for big:

It's out of stock now, sad face emoticon


Dec 1, 2008

I would rape this man...

Since rape is really about hate & control, not sex, I will personally "control" all the god awful mother fuckers on this site. There are too many to post, but here's a few that will make u want to pee in your own eyes.

Russian men under 40 are the worst people evar invented.

OMG better than turkey!

Some dumb fuck crashed a Lamborghini in front of my parents house the day after Thanksgiving! Fucking awesome! This dummy came around a corner, did a full 180 and ran backwards up a little slope into a big fatty tree! Ever since they repaved our road numb-skulls with sports cars like to speed down on it cuz it's all curvy and shit.

What a fuckwad right! Hilarious! The dude, and his 17 yr old son (who wasn't driving. yeah right) weren't hurt. But they're $275,000 car was! Oh shit fuck! Seriously this was awesome. I was out there laughing with all the cops (oink-oink) at this asshat wearing douche-tarded snot covered cunt bat. I bet this was his last glory ride before putting this hoopty on the market after losing his jerb at citi-bank or whatever. To the poor house for you Lamborghini man!

Lookit the pictures that I have included which are pictures of this event images.