Tiny Weener Tazered

I've asked just about every girl I've dated, every lady friend I have and all the women of the night I've paid for "how small is the smallest you've ever seen?". I just have to know this stuff. Every girl has a story about this one guy, and the descritopn is usually punctuated by holding up the right pinky and using the thumb and forefinger of left hand to indicate how short the pinky size weener is.

Well this is the smallest I've ever seen and it's attached to a crazy man getting tazered by the po-po.

Win for all (NSFW)


Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

Neat Death

srsly

Meghan McCain's got awesome taste in music, no srsly

I ended up on Meghan McCain's blog today and a few posts from the top she posted a playlist that includes Richard Hell, The Wire and X. And she included a song from an Ennio Morricone soundtrack, holy Fuck!! I could date this girl on the strength of her playlist alone. Srsly. That and her 7, wait no, 8 houses?

She also went to some republican summit and trashed Anne Coulter and Rush, but based on her music taste I'm not surprised she isn't scared of those two tampon heads.

Here's the playlist, click for biggar.


http://mccainblogette.com/

Susan eFing Boyle?

This weekend I heard this woman's name mentioned on the radio a bunch of times and over heard it in conversations on the street etc. What I have gathered is that she's a contestant on American Idol and that she's really ugly and a virgin and old. I guess everybody loves old virgins and they're pulling for her to win. Needless to say I don't watch American Idol.

Now I could be entirely wrong because I inferred all of the above from hearsay and radio clips, but anyway Huff Post has a funny rundown by Sarah Walker. I never read the HP but maybe I'll start.


"My Susan Boyle Fears"
As Susan Boyle's stardom catapults to unknown and unimaginable heights, here is what I fear for the future:

* The phrase, "He/She is no Susan Boyle" referring to the next unattractive person who competes on a reality show who doesn't have her talent.

* Alternately, the phrase, "Pulling a Boyle" if someone is unattractive and surprises people by succeeding at something.

* People yelling at me for calling Susan Boyle unattractive.

* The Susan Boyle Movie (Working title: "I Dreamed a Dream") with Susan Boyle played by Hollywood Actress Anne Hathaway in heavy makeup.

* The interviews with Anne Hathaway detailing her weight gain to play the role of Susan Boyle. (Anne Hathaway loves ice cream!)

* The woman's magazine articles explaining Anne Hathaway's Ways To Lose Weight (And Fast!). (No more ice cream!)

* Anne Hathaway's tearful Oscar speech when she wins Best Actress for her role as YouTube Singing Sensation Susan Boyle in "I Dreamed a Dream." (She could have never done it without Susan Boyle).

* Anne Hathaway calling Susan Boyle on stage with her during her acceptance speech. (I do look forward to Susan Boyle saying something charming and Scottish).

* Anne Hathaway/Susan Boyle duet at the Oscar ceremony with Sting as surprise guest.

* The Susan Boyle Halloween costumes.

Belly Fetish Videos

I was kinda youtube famous for a while when youtube was new. All you needed was 2000 views and you could be the most viewed for a few hours. That racked you up viewers fast. I sound like Al Bundy. Anyway if u been on youtube a real long time you prolly discovered smoking fetish, which is just dudes sitting in front of their computer smoking cigs. The funny part are the comments "I love at 2:13 when he takes a drag and that little whiff comes out of his mouth. Ughhhhh I'm so hard right now" shit like that. Anyway smoking fetish is so 2005.

The hot fire these days is belly fetish. I found out about it a couple years ago when some funny dudes from youtube, that I became IRL friends with, started getting belly fetishists commenting on their videos (some of the dudes have teh bloat). Anyway the best belly fetish dude is BellyHunter. Bellyhunter is a grower. Dudes who chug beer and u can watch their stomach get bigger and bigger. Fucking weirdly mesmerizing shit. I've yet to receive a boner form this but I'm sure it'll come around one day. This is the kinda stuff that 'turns you' gay. Bellyhunter he disabled embedding so I give you Atlcub79. Earth is a weird:

PS - if u have a youtube account and you sign up for rev sharing, prepare to lose a shit load of subscribers. They weed out the inactive ones.

If you watched the above video and do NOT have a boner, you are not a belly fetishist :(

i got nothing

yessss i love strippers fuck!!1

I just think you should know that. fuck. im yelling, can u hear that in my type? good. strippers are awesome, they are better than jet skis. nothing is better than jet skis. yesterday was monday, did u know that dummy? yeah well it was. and its a good night to see strippers. i tel u this cuz its good information to have on hand. can u here me yelling? thats cuz im so psyched about my hangover and the GIANT hole in my wallet. and im not kidding, i am psyched about that shit because strippers are awesome and i get to think about them all day. they smell good and they put their boobs on your face and on mondays there are no other dudes there so u get all the good ones to urself. and guess what there are good ones out on monday night u dumb fucker. thats right. there was a nice meaty one from texas. she was 22, she smelled like febreeze and it was awesome. she had a big butt and it was awesome. she had a good face on too. her face was nice and awesome, she looked like alexis texas who also has a nice face and a big dumper is awesome. im still yelling. it's like a rude beligerent really loud talking type of yelling, tits fuck. also i drank alot, did i mention that? my knees are all sore. do ur knee joints get sore after drinking? well fuck off mine do, in fact im gonna go for a walk and do some squats cuz it makes them feel good. oh man, my boner is going away. bye

why the auto industry is teh failing hard

thx UAW

sauce

The Crying Hotline

U should see this for it is winning the day.

Kinda week that they couldnt get a number that spelled something. 900-SAD-FAGS comes to mind.

The Pains of Being Pure at Sucking

I keep seeing this band in reviews and lists and show lineups and under other circumstances this might pique enough interest to type their myspace URL and listen to 1 or 2 songs.

But their name is so god awful I won't, nay, can't do it. This faggotry should drive any self respecting music fan to the hills of Ugh Puke. The name congers Morrissey if he got raped and only played acoustic all ages shows.

What kind of self righteous poetry readers play in this band? If you have the audacity to choose such a phony bleeding heart bull shit how can I expect anything you play to be remotely good. The name tries to sound so honest and vulnerable, but anyone who would want this as name wouldn't use it cuz their Dads beat them so hard they've learned to pretend to not be such wimps. If they wanted to reveal all this crap through their name just go with "The Pain of Being Self Righteous Wussies".

Since I can't listen to them, maybe it's a massive pisstake I'm not in on and they play some awesome fuckit style indie punk-metal, well the joke goes too far. I can't handle it. You want an ironic pussy name for a not pussy band, go with Gay For Johnny Depp (swoon).

That last sentence was just an excuse to name drop those guys who are awesome and have one of the best band names evar.

Other awful names, tho I've listened to & like most of these
Iron and Wine (like him)
Bonnie "Prince" Billy (like alot, extra bad name tho)
Broken Social Scene (pretentious as fuck name, good 1st album)
The Boy Least Likey (worst of honorable mentions, don't like their music)


Feel free to ad to the list

SHIT BIRD ORL!!!1

Hacked sign on my block, saturday night. Gothamist says this been happen all over the city. That's all.